Here I go, talking about myself and my work again. Sorry.

I've recently been looking into completing a part-time course in massage therapy, so I could work as a CMT for some extra cash and quiet time. It's also directly related to my current state of mind as I contemplate the end of my doctoral program, and think to myself about how I REALLY need a less stressful way to be, and possibly an "out" if I decide I'd rather not continually say "how high" when my boss says "jump." I am going to finish my degree (dammit), but I've been mildly (okay, very) depressed that things never get less stressful, as optimistic about that as I attempt to be. I know what I'm doing is valuable and good, but the job is a weird sort of "Devil Wears Prada" meets the research world - I wear lots of hats, including audiologist, public relations specialist, personal shopper, travel agent, clown for small deaf children, interior decorator, electrical engineer, cat herder, paperwork queen, international ambassador, secretary, finder of things other people lost, computer expert, statistician, chauffeur, graphic designer, and psychotherapist to imploding graduate students. Occasionally, I gather and write about EEG data, too, and write grants and IRB protocols in my spare time. Rather than have a total meltdown and quit entirely, I've decided to come up with possibilities for things I'd rather do than what I'm doing now, and get ready to do those things. I will finish my program, and see how I feel when I'm done, and whether the funding fairy has decided to bless our lab. I'll have a few extra letters after my name, and I won't have any "what-ifs" to wonder about or regret as I pay off my voluminous student loans. Then I will choose which letters I want to use most - Ph.D., or CMT, or a little of both. The amazing (or depressing) part is that I would be making nearly twice as much as I do now, working 25 hours a week as a CMT, and I would finish the CMT program in a little over a year (before graduating with my Ph.D.). Yes, it's reliant upon having a large, regular clientele coming in, and that would be something I'd need to build over time and market to folks well, but still! I want to be careful about saying where the grass will be greener, though - usually grass is greener because it's well fertilized with... unmentionable stuff we don't want to deal with.

Anyway, as part of my research into massage therapy, I've been looking into resources for massage therapists in practice. This has inevitably led to some... interesting resources. See also "Your Friday Dose of Woo" at the Respectful Insolence science blog: http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/skepticismcritical_thinking/friday_woo/ See also the City of Boulder, Colorado. I came across this site: http://www.greenspiralherbs.com/1st%20product%20page.htm As I was looking into soothing scents in massage oils, and down beneath the herbal balms and salves and lavender spritzes, I found a listing for "No More Monsters" spray. Only $8.00 (before shipping) will buy you an all-natural anti-monster spray guaranteed to keep those monsters at bay. Um, wow. I drafted this letter, and almost sent it. I couldn't quite bring myself to be that directly snarky.

Dear Betty and Dan,
My children would like to know which monsters your "No More Monsters" spray keep at bay. Specifically, they want to get rid of slimy, drooling, or loudly snoring monsters, while keeping the cute, fuzzy ones around in case they need a hug. Will these beneficial monsters also be affected by the spray? We are also worried that using too much "No More Monsters" spray might lead to strains of monster that are genetically resistant to the spray, eventually leading to more icky monsters under the bed that are harder to get rid of. We hope that your monster-repelling active ingredients are long-lasting and nontoxic to faeries, brownies, and kitty cats.
Your garden is lovely, and your needlework is amazing, Betty.
Best wishes,
Amy

For those who would rather see cute pictures of my kids than listen to me moan (that would be most of you) - here are the kids making Lego towns on the kitchen table, and Gennie wearing her new sundress, even though it snowed a day or two ago. C'est la vie.